Four Ways to Sabotage Your Business Cards

Did you hear about the gal who was abducted by aliens? She was taken aboard their spaceship in the dead of night. Instead of being forced to endure the customary unspeakable medical experiments you'd expect from a citizen of the planet Glixnarr, her mind was re-programmed to do something even worse. Something she absolutely dreaded. She was brainwashed into ordering new recycled business cards.

Didn't hear that one?

Me either, but you'd think it was a common experience, given the discomfort and disdain with which some business people treat their business cards. If you simply cannot get out of ordering business cards (maybe your boss is from Glixnarr), never fear. There are sure-fire ways to make sure that your business cards are underutilized, underappreciated, and destined straight for the trash can.

Here are four ways to sabotage your business cards:

1) Order free business cards, or make them yourself.
If you are in a position to have some say in ordering business cards, try this approach first. This is a particularly subtle ploy, since you can hide your agenda under the guise of "saving money for the company."

No one needs to know that such cards are perceived as amateurish or, worse yet, as an illustration that your company is on such shaky ground that you cannot afford to pay for "real" business cards.

2) Forget to keep business cards with you at all times.
You can simply "forget" to carry your business cards. After all, it happens to everyone once in a while, right? Those detested folded business cards will certainly never get circulated if you never get around to putting a stash in your purse, briefcase, laptop bag or your car's glove compartment.

3) Cram business cards into your purse or your back pocket.
Once a supervisor catches on to the previous tactic, it's time for sabotage tip number three. Carry your cards with you, but don't use a business card case. Let your business cards mingle with all the other useless junk in the bottom of your purse. Or tuck them in that old wallet which is so comfortably molded to the shape of your backside they will fit beautifully in the hands of whomever you hand them to.

This will ensure that they're so rumpled, dingy and worn that customers and prospects are sure to pitch them immediately upon receipt.

4) Maintain a stiff poker face when you hand someone your card.
Finally, if you're required to carry a terrific business card, and your spouse gives you an elegant business card case that they expect you to use, there's one last strategy to try and total ruin your chances of success.

Make sure you're as uninteresting, unfriendly, and downright rude as you can be when forced into an unwanted business card exchange. When someone asks what you do, give them your famous "deer caught in the headlights" look. If someone asks about your best-selling product, laughingly dismiss it!

If you really don't care about new customers and an unending stream of new business prospects, sabotaging your business card is simple!